


Stargazer

by bbhyuckie (Missnope)



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, Roommates, Slow Burn, for plot reasons, orphan Jae
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-01-31
Packaged: 2019-10-20 06:02:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17616869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missnope/pseuds/bbhyuckie
Summary: —I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.Or; Jaehyun enrolls in college whilst trying to figure himself out, but doesn't anticipate the new questions living with Taeyong may present.





	Stargazer

Living on campus had never been Jaehyun’s plan. College had never been his plan, really. Jaehyun was totally resigned to enlisting out of high school, but his last foster had insisted that she help him through his first four years of college.

 

Heejin -- said foster -- was the best thing to ever happen to his sorry existence. After being shuffled through countless homes and forgetting to cry when he said goodbye to his foster siblings, he landed in the loving arms of Lee Heejin. She felt like home, in the best sense; her clothes always smelled of warm bread; her hair was always wavey in that old school way; her arms were always open; her eyes were always bright. She had snagged Jaehyun into her old 2 story house when he turned 15 and never let him loose. It was too expensive for her to adopt the teen, but luckily enough for him, no one else particularly wanted him anyway.

 

Jaehyun never knew why she loved him so much. She loved all of her kids, truly and genuinely, but he always felt the closest to her. Maybe because he was the eldest in the house at any given time. Maybe it was because he always volunteered to help clean up after dinner with her. Maybe because she knew he needed the love with all the trouble he ran into. Maybe because when she frowned from finding his squished pack of cigarettes stuffed under his mattress she  _ only _ frowned, knowing it came with who Jaehyun was, and slipped them back under the frame. Maybe because she knew he was a little rough around the edges but meant just as well as she did.

 

When Jaehyun told Heejin that he wanted to be an astronaut when he was younger, she smiled in that loving way she always did. Jaehyun was sure she could imagine his squishy face when he was younger, pudgy hands scribbling a man of the stars, piloting a ship to far off planets. Surely she thought it was some phase that he had left a few homes behind him, so when Jaehyun started talking again about it a year later, and suggested that maybe he would join the air force instead--

 

Heejin’s face gave her away. Her thin lips turned down slightly, her eyes fighting back something. Jaehyun could practically feel the words just behind the cages of her mouth;  _ "You know what happened to them." _ The boy couldn't blame her if she said it. Everyone said it. But she didn't. The words stayed caged like birds, cooped back into that mind she had.

 

"My boy," she said instead, slowly, "I know that this is your dream."

 

She paused then, and Jaehyun could almost see her eyes glass, he swore it. He could see the affection and pain and hope and it made his heart ache.

 

"But maybe," she gripped his hand, "And I am only suggesting this," her eyebrows pulled together in concern, "You could take a few years to study first. You are so talented, son, and I don't want to see you--"

 

Get hurt. End up like them. End up dead.

 

"--waste what you were given." It was the kindest way she could say it.

 

Jaehyun argued with her for months about the implications it held; college admissions, credit recovery, scholarships,  _ money _ . She brushed it all off and signed him up for what he would need through the rest of his junior and senior year.

 

When the information came through that Jaehyun had scored a 1550 on the SAT, Heejin nearly fell over. She yelled in glee, and when the younger kids figured out what the number meant, really meant, they started yelling too. The excitement, however, didn't quite get to Jaehyun. He smiled sure, but he didn't know if that's what he wanted. And what a selfish fucking thing to say, right? This foster kid had a free ride to state college and was there being an angsty 18 year old, dreaming of following in the footsteps of his dead parents.

 

Before he could wrap his brain around it, he was ducking out of Heejin's little van and pulling suitcases out of the back of her car. For the first time since Jaehyun was 15, he was leaving a foster house -- but not just any house. This house had become the kid’s home. With his bag over his shoulders, two duffels on an arm and an oversized suitcase behind him, Jaehyun looked to Heejin. She smiled and a tear slipped down her cheek, unraveling the composure Jaehyun was trying so hard to keep in. He dropped everything and crashed into her, a tiny  _ oof _ leaving her as he squeezed. He hadn’t felt this before from someone else-- pride. This was what Heejin wanted to do for her little orphan boy, and it hadn’t made sense until then. Jaehyun didn’t get the push to education.  

 

He remembered this time, arms nearly squeezing the life out of his poor foster mother, to cry.

 

After trying not to look like more of a baby and saying his final goodbyes, Jaehyun decidedly walked into the dorm building. He spared a glance over his shoulder to see Heejin’s license plate twisting further out of the campus. The trek up the stairs distracted him from the tightness in his chest. He was on the top floor, right next to the stairwell on the left. Jaehyun pushed the key in and wiggled it before it slowly shifted open. It was empty still, apparently he was the first one there. He hadn't remembered to check the list on the bottom floor for the name of his roommate, but he sure as fuck wasn't going to walk all the way back down those godforsaken stairs again. Jaehyun picked the bed on right and dropped his things on it. He rolled his shoulders of the fatigue and looked around, hands on hips. It was pretty spacious, surprisingly. He knew that there was a kitchenette unit when he put down my first month of rent (it was more expensive, but if it was getting paid for by the state...), but he almost hadn't remembered since it happened. Jaehyun lazily walked over and touched the Formica. It was white- _ ish _ , and clearly had some wear. To the right of the kitchen unit was a juliet, a tiny excuse for a balcony, the kind with a sliding glass door and about a foot of space found in hotels. The bathroom was on his roommate's side of the room, door slipped next to the kitchen unit like an afterthought. It was cozy, he'd give it that.

 

With his inspection done, Jaehyun went on to set up his side of the room. When he was heading out the door that morning, saying his goodbyes before the hour trip to the college campus, the younger kids in the house stopped him and presented him with a gift. A frame, glossy white and sleek, filled with pictures and play brochures and tickets from dance recitals and little projects the teen had forgotten about making with them. In the middle, clearly in Heejin's clean cursive,  _ "Man of the stars" _ gleamed in silver. Throughout the collage, little stars and spaceships were hidden. For how many kids put work in, Jaehyun could've sworn it was done by a professional. He pulled the frame out of the suitcase and stuck it to the wall with the overly sticky hanging things the Dean insisted everyone use unless they wanted their security payment taken from them-- and Jaehyun  _ did  _ have to pay that part. It fit the wall nicely, like it was made to be there. The rest of the room making was pretty uninteresting. He laid down his light grey sheets, the white pillows, and down comforter, put up a string of polaroid's over the head of the bed, and folded his clothes into the pull out drawers under the bed. It was then that he realized it still smelled like home, fresh baked bread and his foster-sisters candles, like warm hugs and family. Jaehyun wondered in passing how long that the smell of home would linger.

  
Jaehyun sat down on the bed and mentally kicked himself for not listening to Heejin about getting a pillow top for his mattress. She was always right about those things. Nevertheless, he shoved his headphones in and listened to his daily mix.  _ Maybe I should go check the roommate list, _ he thought as he closed his eyes. He definitely didn't bother.

**Author's Note:**

> i know what you're thinking.
> 
> why am i not working on crossed wires? 
> 
> easy. because this popped into my head and i had to write it.
> 
> idk i don't make the rules, i just enforce them.
> 
> follow me on tumblr! @bbhyuckie, kudos & comments are greatly appreciated!


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